1022love

I had to waste yesterdays wishes on myself, why? because i had a breakdown like no other. The ones where everything becomes to overwhelming, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there is only down to crash and burn. your chest gets tight, your heart starts to race, you can't catch your breath and you start drowning in tears, and then your entire body goes numb as these tiny tingling needles sweep down from you brain to your wriggling fighting toes. and your left swimming through the sheets kicking and screaming for air and begging, pleading, for everything to stop and to be okay. Tom didn't come, he didn't have the money to spend

I am exhausted but i can't sleep for shit. I only got an hr of sleep and have been up since 3 AM. I'm to depressed to sleep and i can't stop thinking. Tom made me feel like shit yesterday after rubbing a past 'fling' in my face, prior to even dating him mind you. Simply because i asked if my friend who i had a fling with, could crash at my house when he travels 2000 miles to come visit. He really doesn't get how i feel right now, yet i hurt him too I told him he hasn't really been making me happy lately..which is true..and i also told him if he doesn't get a degree he'll just have to get used to an aching back, knees, and everything else t

So i realize i have not written on this journal in over a year, thats quite sad, so i guess i should update now with as much as i can... Well my mom is going to Chicago cause IKE is hitting there, idk how...it just hit Texas, well anyway my grandma's basement is flooded horribly so my mom is flying out their today, this evening i believe. School started i'm on my 2nd week. I hate my job i am given the bitch work, i don't get 15 min breaks cause they are a 'priviledge' i have to beg for a lunch break and i only get one when its convenient for them, we have 2 registers but they keep one open and always make me ring, and if i'm not they send m